the end

this is the end. i cant handle any disappointment again. need to stop expecting. need to stop loving(someone who never appreciate) yes yes yes i love to make my own assumption. an assumption is such a relief. im one ungrateful creature. i rather choose to love someone whos never notice my existence, never appreciate my efforts, or we really werent meant to be. no. yes. no. maybe. possibility of infinity. im a guy so i wont cry and i lied. im selfish and im selfish. 


as i realized some of my friends is using me, again and again disappointment strikes. some of them choose to judge me before i did anything. sometimes i just want you to shut up and start to listen. listens to my deepest inquisitions. oh thats a lyric. no one care. no one give a damn. and there's me with countless damn given. too much. too.


hello A, i dont want you to get yourself hurts. dont be with him. just dont. you'll end up disappointed, just like me. just. like. me. how could this happen to me, and how would it happen to you. its just the matter of time and you'll realize. you will, someday. youre too young to understand, maybe. or its just your fragile heart. your fragile. heart. even we just know each other for a while, but i appreciate you as friend.


hello friends. hello friends with benefits. im your friend with benefits right? right? i knew it. i just knew. yes its just another assumption from me. but if its the truth, i wont mind. its mind over matter. its me didnt mind and you does matter.


so, whats next. nothing much. im waiting. whats my next regret. whats my next disappointment. call me pathetic, because deep inside yes i am. who worth my tears? who worth my worries? who worth my love? and who worth me? or am i that worth it? i just dont know. maybe youre not the one for me. and yes god has a better plan for me. its up to me to be and stay strong in my own beliefs. god, bless me. god, bless me please. god, oh i just knew it wont help if i pray to god here. i just need to stand up from this chair. stop typing. and start doing. goodbye halcyon day.